As my husband dropped his drawers  and sit on the examination table with a thin papery  blue sheet awkwardly covering his shaved man parts,  I fell in love with him all over again.   As we waited for the doctor to step in I thought about what a sacrifice Geoff was making for me.   I am sure he was nervous and I knew there would be pain afterward, but he was there looped up on valium with smile on his face more than willing to undergo a scalpel slicing into his family jewels.

It also dawned on me that my husband getting a vasectomy is a milestone in our relationship… like buying a new house.   It is something we knew he would do one day..  and now its done.  It seems so final, and I can’t believe we are already at this point.  We have been married for almost 10 years, but it really does seem like a moment ago, that I met him for the very first time, wearing my smokey the bear tee shirt and asking him who his favorite band was.  It is mind boggling how fast life moves!

Geoff and I have two amazing children that we adore, but we decided they were enough for us.  I affectionately refer to them as Sassy Shaylee and Wild Will. They both have enormous personalities that require a lot of attention and energy. I would often worry that adding a third Lundy lad or lass would send me to crazy-frazzled-overwhelmed-mommy-land.  I am so thankful that now I don’t have to worry and I can relax and focus on our family of four. No more trips to the pharmacy to purchase overpriced pregnancy tests when mother nature decides to give me my monthly “gift” three days late.

I am a lucky woman to have the family that I have.  I am excited to see what happens in the next chapter of our family story

Getting angry is NOT a sin,

even Jesus threw over

some damn tables!

I was one of the statistics!

This week, I decided I needed a professionals help to find the right bra for me… I have recently lost about 40 pounds and I had no idea what was going on with my “girls.”   The bras I had been wearing were riding up in the back, gaping in the front, and the shoulder straps were constantly and annoyingly falling down.  Something had to give!  So, I went to find out what secret Victoria wasn’t telling!

Victoria’s Secret stores offer personalized bra fittings without an appointment.  I was a little apprehensive at first, not knowing what to expect.  I am a self-conscience, modest lady and the idea of baring my ta-tas to a complete stranger who looked like a Maxim Girl, wasn’t really my idea of a good time.  However,  my experience was very positive at Victoria’s.  The fit expert  roughly measured me (blouse on) to begin with.  She grabbed a bra in the generic first measure size.  I tried it on  (privately, in a dressing room) discussed what about it fit, and what didn’t and we went from there using the trial and error process until we came up with a winner!   My new bra was a band size smaller and a cup size larger than the ones I had been wearing. ( I would have never even thought to try on my REAL size)

I wore my new “breast friend”  today, the difference was astounding!  My back didn’t hurt.  My girls didn’t pour out of there holders every time I bent over.   My shoulder straps stayed in place— ALL DAY LONG! I spent zero minutes adjusting, tugging, and tucking.   I  even look thinner.  It’s amazing what the RIGHT sized bra can do!  Its actually FREEING to have the ladies LOCKED up right where they belong!  I encourage you to go find out what size you really are, and then sing the praises of the BRAhemian Rhapsody with me!

“Just because you buy it at Whole Foods, doesn’t mean it won’t make you fat!”

Will, my little man, is a spitfire and gives new meaning to the phrase “all boy!”  I have never seen another two year old boy filled with as much testosterone as this kid.  He is an alpha puppy!  He likes to hit, kick, jump, throw balls, run, and do all things dangerous.

Will turned 2 years old at the end of January.  Turning two means my baby boy is transforming from a toddler to a preschooler, and that means this year we will be diving into the oh so fun world of potty training.   Potty training my little man’s man should be pretty interesting.  Today we made our first huge stride.

Will has been waking up with dry diapers for about a week, this morning I put him on his little Winnie the Pooh potty chair and after a few chants of singing “let’s go pee, let’s go pee, let’s go pee in the potty!” He actually did it! I was proud, he was prouder!  Bodily functions are sooo exciting during the potty training phase!

Training a boy is a little trickier than training a girl ( I have experienced girl-training with my daughter.)  I don’t know if one sex is the easier or not.. but the mechanics of  getting the boy parts pointing the right direction is a bit complicated!   This morning as Will and I were taking the leap into the no-diaper future we  had a little conversation on what exactly we should call his man parts. He was confused when I said  “go pee pee in the potty,”  he called his thing pee pee, and didn’t understand that two different things could be called the same.     I read in a parenting book recently that parents should teach their children at an early age the proper terms for their privates.  So I said to Will,  “you can call that your penis!”

He replied to me, ” Penish?”

I said, ” Yup!”

He thought for a while and said,   ” I call it Big Truck!!! VROOM VROOM!”

I  laughed so hard! That little boy is the funniest kid!  So I  told him, ” point your big truck in the potty and go pee!”  and he did!   I should have known that my little alpha puppy would come up with a creative nickname for his manhood,  I just never thought he would at age 2!   Times like these really make me love being a stay at home mommy!

This is the most annoying thing about my personality.   I am not even for sure you can call it jealousy.  I don’t get mad when other people get new shiny cars, I drive my beat up 103k miles  PT cruiser that I found on Craigslist for $3K with pride.  I don’t covet the big new 5 bedroom 4 bath houses  of my friends… I actually like my cozy 1971 split level despite its tiny closets and one bath.     Hmmm… maybe its not jealousy.

I  tend to feel hurt or left out in random situations that I am not a part of! Haha! Does that even make sense?   Okay so that first sentence “I am a confident woman!”  I guess.. maybe that is not accurate.   When I feel “jealous,”  its because my friend went shopping with someone else… and I think to myself,  “why didn’t she want to go shopping with me?”  Oh I feel like slapping myself as I wrote that!  Its pathetic and ridiculous.   I never actually say I feel this way aloud.  I know I am ridiculous for feeling that way,  I know that people are free to hang out with whoever they’d like.. and if its not me at a particular time or place.. it doesn’t mean they don’t like me.   Seriously, this is something you would expect a 15 year old to struggle with.   I guess, it comes down to always wondering if people like me, and worrying too much what they think of me… BARF! I hate that!

I could probably go and pay someone $75 per hour, and they would tell me it is a self esteem issue stemming from my dysfunctional childhood.  I  struggled with fillings that  I did not fully belong with either of my divorced parents,  and to say I went through a few traumatic experiences as a kid is an understatement.  Or, maybe its abandonment issues from my dad suddenly wanting nothing to do with me when I was 12.   But I don’t want to make any excuses.  I just want to kick this bad mental habit to the curb.

Confessing my weakness is the first step, right?   So there you go.. a small insight to one of my (many) issues!   I am glad my brain tells me that my emotions are crazy!

” I don’t eat cheese because

I prefer my empty calories

in the form of  chocolate!”

Let me introduce you to the wonderful world of kids consignment sales!!!   These are NOT the typical year round consignment shops that pay you when your stuff sales at a small fraction of  what  they sold them for.. these are much different.  The kind of sale I am talking about springs up in a big facility for only 3 to 5 days– they provide you with a ton of eager shoppers and huge opportunity to get your stuff sold!  In these sales, you are responsible for pricing and hanging your items— you set the price!  You get to charge much more than you could at a garage sale, and you keep 70% of the profits from your sold items!  You do the prep work, but after that the consignment sale organizers take over, you drop off your stuff and in a few days pick up your check and anything leftover.

I am in the middle of prepping all of my unwanted and outgrown kiddie cast offs right now.  This my 4th time being a consignor!  Every other time I have made around $400,  I think I will make about the same this time!    There are 2 consignments a year (spring and fall) and that gives me about $800 in earnings!!   Hello! This is how I keep my kids dressed and looking cute as can be for FREE!!!!   $800 is more than enough for a yearly clothing budget for my two  small kids— especially when using my mad bargain shopping skills  (but that’s a whole other blog topic!)

I love staying at home with my kids but living on one income is a challenge.  I take pride in contributing any way I can to the household budget..  consigning is a simple way to do it!   Try it!   There are sales in most areas– do your research and find one!  If you are in the Kansas City area, check this one out:  http://herewegrowagain.biz/ 

This afternoon I went up to the elementary school to pick Shaylee up, like I do every day.  Today however, her first grade teacher, Mrs. “B,”  had to inform me of how terrible my daughter has been acting the past few days.  Apparently Shaylee is,  “whiney, sassy, disrespectful, and unwilling to follow directions.”  Wow!! That is sooo fun to hear!   I said a sincere, “sorry,” and took my little diva home.

First grade has been a huge pain in my rear!!!  I  had reservations about Shaylee’s assigned teacher at the beginning of the school year, but I looked past them.   I wish I would have put her in a different  class.  Shaylee has butted heads alllll year with Mrs. B.    I know my diva daughter can be a huge sass-a-frass,  but sometimes I think a kid deserves a break.   She gets in trouble for everything from not sitting in her chair correctly to not grabbing her back pack fast enough.  She is rearely rewarded for good behavior or work, but  always  told when she is messing up.  Poor Mrs. B has has choose to fight so many little battles that now she has lost all control over the diva,  and the diva has unleashed her full arsenal for war.

I took away Shaylee’s Wii privileges and even discussed what Jesus would want her to do versus the devil.  Ahhhh!!!!  What can I do?  How can I control how my kid acts when I’M NOT THERE.    I can’t.    I feel like telling Mrs. B, “sorry, you got yourself into this!”   Shaylee had no problems getting along with her preK teacher or her kindergarten teacher.. but for some reason she likes to do everything Mrs. B doesn’t want her to do.    But hey, its March, we only have to endure first grade for another 2 months!

When second grade comes, if I have reservations abouth the teacher… I am listening to my gut!

Years in our marriage went by.  Many things changed, like becoming parents.  Infatuation faded but love grew,  we got older and matured.  About a year ago, (year 9 of our marriage)  I realized that if I didn’t get out of the house with out my kids and even without my husband every once in a while my head was going to pop off with a geyser of steamy water gushing out of it .  Over the years,  my identity became “the wife of Geoff,” and “the mom of  Shaylee and Will.”   I had lost DEVYN.   I had lost the girl that my husband had fallen in love with in the first place.    I wanted her back.

Now, this is not the sole step I took to unearth my true self from piles and piles of bills, dirty diapers, job losses, negative people.. and all the other things in adult life that tend to blow out our little sparks.   But, I do think it was a significant step.  It was simple… I had to get out with a good GIRL friend again… if only for a few hours every week.    I started a weekly ritual of having a simple girls’night– sometimes just going for coffee or shopping, nothing extravagant–.   My “night off” is what it became.   Looking forward to my night off, helped me keep calm and my emotions stable for the other 6 nights a week.   Spending time away from my family as a whole, even made me love them more,  missing people really makes you appreciate them!   My relationships with friends grew as well, we all need friends.  There were years when Geoff and I’s only friends were each other (not so healthy for a marriage.)

I feel like today, I am the happiest I have ever been.  I am more in Love with my Husband (and he with me) than I have ever been.  I am more in love with my family and life in general.  And I am more in Love with ME.   We mom’s really need to remember that WE are important.  We need time off to be who we are.  Our husband’s want those girls they fell in love with, and our kids need a mom who isn’t seconds away from mommy meltdown.   I encourage you all to take a night off once a week, reconnect with yourself and with your girls!  And if, by chance, you are a husband reading this–  give your lady a night off– you will be glad you did!