Mavyn Mom » Getting to Know ME

Love Beyond the Heart’s Desire

devyn — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 21:35:11 +0000

I had a rough childhood. I lived in a small dark house. Black-out shades prevented the sunshine’s warmth to enter and lighten the dark brown paneling. My mother was extremely depressed and sometimes suicidal, my brother was scary and violent and addicted to meth. My dad, although not in the home, verbally abused me and did not want me.
As a young girl, I had tremendous weight on my shoulders, and pain in my heart, I also had an unwillingness to accept that this life I was living would define me. I was a good kid. I was teacher’s pet all through school, I earned the best grades. And at the age of 14, God reached out to me, and let me know that HE absolutely loved me, that I was beautiful, and that despite my circumstances I could rest assured that He was taking care of me.
My teen years were easier for me as I clung to God and his love for me, but my situation at home was still dark. My brother was dealing drugs from his basement bedroom, and random sketchy men would enter and exit my house through all hours of the night. My mom was often working and not home, and although she must have been just and unhappy with the circumstances as I was she chose to ignore it and hope it would get better on its own. One day, when I was about 15, absolute chaos erupted, and I witnessed my brother in an violent meth-hazed rage throw my mom down all thirteen steep, wooden stairs that lead to our concrete basement floor. Terrified. I ran to the safest place in the house, the downstairs bathroom, it had a strong door and a good lock. I locked myself in, and pushed the large towel armoire against the door for extra security. As I hid in that room, I could hear my mom screaming in pain for help. I felt ashamed that I was too scared to run to her rescue, as I sit hugging my knees in the corner of the bathroom, waiting for my brother to leave.
As I write this, I do not want your pity. In the past, I have minimized the dark parts of where I came from, I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the people involved because I love them, and I didn’t want to play the part of a victim. And although in some aspects, I was absolutely victimized I was not a victim, I was a survivor. God made me to be a survivor, and God made me to have a hope for a future, because He had a plan for my future.
When I first started loving God, one bible verse, one PROMISE, I always found comfort in was Psalm 37:3-5 :
³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

The desires of my heart were to be loved, to feel safe, to be a part of a functioning, loving, family, to have a home filled with light. Today I absolutely have those things. I have a husband that cherishes me, and two amazing, beautiful children who, although they fight like cats and dogs sometimes, love eachother and a house that is mine with the sun shining through its windows. God absolutely gave me the desires of my heart, I always trusted that He would.

If you are going through a dark time in your life, know that GOD LOVES YOU! Rest in His love and His promises, “Take delight in Him and he will give you the desires of your heart.” You can make it to the other side!

29 going on 15 (but not looks-wise)

devyn — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 00:50:51 +0000

I am a confident woman. I have an amazing life filled with amazing people ( I don’t have an amazing net worth.. but money really isn’t that important in the scheme of things.) I have what so many women wished they had. I am lucky. I am not saying all this because my back needs a good patting, I am just trying to figure out why despite all the things I have and all the characteristics I possess then why the heck do I get so jealous, so often????

This is the most annoying thing about my personality. I am not even for sure you can call it jealousy. I don’t get mad when other people get new shiny cars, I drive my beat up 103k miles PT cruiser that I found on Craigslist for $3K with pride. I don’t covet the big new 5 bedroom 4 bath houses of my friends… I actually like my cozy 1971 split level despite its tiny closets and one bath. Hmmm… maybe its not jealousy.

I tend to feel hurt or left out in random situations that I am not a part of! Haha! Does that even make sense? Okay so that first sentence “I am a confident woman!” I guess.. maybe that is not accurate. When I feel “jealous,” its because my friend went shopping with someone else… and I think to myself, “why didn’t she want to go shopping with me?” Oh I feel like slapping myself as I wrote that! Its pathetic and ridiculous. I never actually say I feel this way aloud. I know I am ridiculous for feeling that way, I know that people are free to hang out with whoever they’d like.. and if its not me at a particular time or place.. it doesn’t mean they don’t like me. Seriously, this is something you would expect a 15 year old to struggle with. I guess, it comes down to always wondering if people like me, and worrying too much what they think of me… BARF! I hate that!

I could probably go and pay someone $75 per hour, and they would tell me it is a self esteem issue stemming from my dysfunctional childhood. I struggled with fillings that I did not fully belong with either of my divorced parents, and to say I went through a few traumatic experiences as a kid is an understatement. Or, maybe its abandonment issues from my dad suddenly wanting nothing to do with me when I was 12. But I don’t want to make any excuses. I just want to kick this bad mental habit to the curb.

Confessing my weakness is the first step, right? So there you go.. a small insight to one of my (many) issues! I am glad my brain tells me that my emotions are crazy!

Crack a bottle of Champagne on my maiden mavyn voyage!

devyn — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:36:31 +0000

I have already fantasized every word I would say to Oprah as she interviewed me via Skype. I would be featured on a show celebrating the stay at home mom’s who found a way to make it big. I of course made it big by becoming the author of a wildly popular mommy blog; earning a cozy six figure salary by simply typing out the goings on of my mommy life.

It would go something like this:

OPRAH: Welcome! Devyn Lundy is the author of the popular blog, “mavynmom.com”. Devyn its such a pleasure to have you on the Show!

Me: Oh my goodness! I can’t believe I am actually talking to you Oprah! I DVR you every day!

OPRAH: Now tell me, what inspired you to begin mavynmom.com?

ME: Well actually, my friends. I have always had tons of funny stories about my family to tell, little money saving tips to give, and fun easy recipes to share. One of my best friends, the now famous DJ , Jenna Lucas told me one day that I HAD to write a blog. Her husband just happened to be a web host we went back to her house and he created the website that night!

OPRAH: And how did you think of the title, “Mavyn Mom”

ME: Well, obviously first and foremost in life my job is being a mommy and a wife, hence MOM. The word Maven has always been one of my favorite words.. its kinda like a Diva with Influence… I feel that describes me, we changed the E to a Y because of the way I spell my name D.E.V.Y.N.

OPRAH: Diva with Influence, I like that! What is the number one thing you hope your readers get from reading mavynmom?

ME: I really want the minute or two my readers stop by my site to be a little cup of gatoraide in the middle of their crazy hectic day. Stay at home mom’s are like marathon runners, they just have to keep at it , changing diapers, minivan carpools, taking the kids to dance, teeball, soccer, prepping dinner, helping with homework, laundry, making cupcakes all the small little things necessary to raise little humans. I want to be there for them on the side line with my little cup of gatoraide as they pass.. sometimes its inspirational, sometimes a giggle, or sometimes a place to vent, but its always refreshing!

OPRAH: I’ve always said, ” When done well, being a stay at home mom is the world’s most difficult career!” Thank you for celebrating that! Best Wishes to you!

Okay, does anyone know how I can come up with a few hundred thousand readers, and some companies to pay me to advertise on this website? I don’t have much time to make my dream come true, this is Oprah’s last season, and they are probably only filming for a few more months! Seriously though, I am very excited about this blog, I am really hoping to pour myself into every post! I hope you enjoy it!